Modern Women

Writing is not directly correlated to creating visual art for me. They do not intersect. They are two separate practices, two mindsets, and two necessities in my life. While creating visual art manifests as a constant compulsion, writing emerges in moments of heightened emotional stress.

“Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide.” D.W. Winnicott

Both practices allow me to communicate with the world behind some kind of veil. Writing, is much more direct and forces the reader to listen, at the least.

“Heightened emotional stress” - here’s what I mean by that. The last time I wrote for an audience was when Trump was elected. I tend to hide my writings; I keep them tucked away for the sheer act of doing it is enough for me. So…here’s my current state of heightened emotional stress, I’m getting divorced.

This post isn’t a sob story of my life, how I got here, and where I’m going. It isn’t a self-help guide to getting divorced in your late twenties. This post isn’t for me.

This post is for you. Yes, you. The person reading this out of sheer interest in my personal life. The person who has noticed a shift in my behavior, social media posts, and overall demeanor but haven’t had the care or concern to ask how I am.

Modern women….specifically, listen up.

Let’s stop chastising her for doing what she needs to survive the circumstance you’re too self-involved to ask about.

Let’s stop talking about her behind her back.

Let’s stop having an opinion unless you know the entirety of her situation, (which I guarantee you do not).

Let’s stop giving her your opinion, unless she asks.

Let’s stop judging how she decides to heal.

Let’s stop assuming your way of moving through a difficult situation is the same as hers.

I have never made a more difficult decision in my life.

I have never been so disappointed with the women in my life, “friends” and family.

I have never fully opened up about my past, because you don’t have any right to it.

I have a great group of humans around me who have shown me exactly who they are, and what I mean to them.

I have focused my attention on my career in the midst of an emotional hurricane.

I have found mental clarity.

I have rebuilt things I lost.

I have reestablished a sense of self.

I have, most importantly…kept my shit together.

So here’s to you, human reading this (or maybe you’ve fucked off by now),

Grow up. Be a better woman, a better friend, a better family member. Stop gossiping like a teenager and just fucking ask. Support fellow women in whatever journey they’ve chosen for themselves. She knows herself better than you do, she has put a lot of thought and time into her decisions. Support them.

That’s all for now folks.

(until the next state heightened emotional stress)